Last week we brought you the Top Ten Athletes to Have as a College Professor. Now let's take a look at the other end of the spectrum: the worst athletes to teach in the classroom. We'd like to extend a special thanks to all the contributors that emailed us and voted for many of the athletes that made the list. This was a tough group to compile and we apologize for leaving out worthy candidates. To enhance the entertainment factor, we're leaving out the obvious OJ Simpson suggestion (although it is now officially noted).
10. John Madden
Sure, he has had years of success playing football, coaching football and broadcasting football. He's even got a video game named after him. But have you ever really listened to Madden talk? Sometimes his commentating is as mind boggling as a foreign language. His rants take him so far off topic you would never get through a lecture. You would, however, get a detailed board diagram with plenty of arrows and connections that resemble the crop circles from the movie Signs.
9. Chris Webber
Who wants a professor that can't handle simple math: 0 time outs remaining – 1 time out called = how many time outs?
8. Sean Avery
Anyone interested in public speaking should stay far away from Sean Avery. His distasteful comments about ex-girlfriends may produce some laughs with your barroom buddies, but it landed him a suspension from the NHL in 2008. Avery also has a rule named after him for waving his hand in front of Martin Brodeur's face in an attempt to block the goalie's view of play. According to past teammates, he lacks respect and accountability. Sorry Avery, but all of these shenanigans put you on the list.
7. Pete Rose
To be honest we love Charlie Hustle and really believe he could teach many valuable lessons in an academic setting. However, he admittedly bet on baseball and pleaded guilty to two charges of tax evasion. Could you imagine Rose as a statistic or finance professor? He could potentially breed the finest up-and-coming white collar criminals. He probably can't teach you how to bake a cake, but he could certainly teach you how to cook the books.
6. Michael Vick
A vet student's worst nightmare.
5. Tonya Harding
Ms. Harding's attack on Nancy Kerrigan showed the ultimate lack of sportsmanship and disregard for human compassion. Plus, she didn't have the guts to attack Kerrigan herself, but rather hired someone else to do the deed. Harding may teach you how to beat out the competition, but not in the way most people find appropriate.
4. Tiger Woods
Nobody likes a cheater.
3. Plaxico Burress (with his Teaching Assistant, Gilbert Arenas)
Teachers, like athletes, have an immense impact on how students behave and view the world we live in. So when you shoot yourself with a gun or hold a weapon to a teammate, you have no business acting as a role model. Come on, Cheddar Plax, you've got kids too!
2. Barry Bonds
With one of the most controversial careers in all of sports history, Barry Bonds holds the ultimate baseball statistic but the permanent stigma of a fraud. Bonds' bush-league admittance of steroid use is equivalent to blaming a broken lamp on a dog that can't defend itself. He may be able to beat the system, but that's nothing we'd want him to teach in the classroom.
1. Mike Tyson
Iron Mike rounds out the list and it probably comes as no surprise he has been crowned the undisputed heavyweight champion of worst teacher-athletes. From the sexual assaults and prison time to the ear-biting incident versus Evander Holyfield, "The Baddest Man on the Planet" is the antithesis of a scholarly role model. On top of all that, his declaration of bankruptcy in 2003 proves his inability to manage money and a career. And even after all of this, we haven't hit on the biggest reason for his inability to guide our students: His lack of grammar skills. Sure, you can probably find some typos or mistakes in this list but do they even compare? In closing, we'd like to offer some Tyson quotes that provide further support for our position on his unique literary style and his overall character:
"I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."
"I feel like sometimes that I was not meant for this society."
"He was trying to scrutinize with my brain."
"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."
eCoeCollegeFinder.org helps you find accredited degrees from online colleges to start a new career or improve your current job. Search eCollegeFinder today and find the right online degree for you!